Our Seasons

Greetings!  I haven't really felt inspired to blog in a while but I'm now realizing that a new season is upon me and I feel that it's time to start fresh. So, I'm revamping my blog to focus on giving back to other's through inspiration and encouragement. 

 

We all need to embrace the seasons in our lives, change, and transformation. To be better today than we were yesterday. Take an assessment of your life, accept the challenges in front of you, and adapt where needed. My goal is to help you to achieve this more effectively!

 



“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
- Maya Angelou

Be blessed!
Khurly Girl

Daily Inspiration: God's Timing

Be careful about rushing God's timing because you never know WHO or WHAT He is protecting you or saving you from. As a result of our challenges and experiences, we try to put limits and timelines on God's plan for our lives. We grow impatient and take matters into our own hands, and often find ourselves trying to rush God's process. In some cases, we don't even consult God first before making a move. But we have to realize that every situation is working together for our good and we must learn to rely on FAITH in God and not through our beliefs and experiences. Walk by FAITH, not by SIGHT.


"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."


In order to move forward, we have to learn how to let go of our past beliefs and trust God to train us through His Word. We should not lean to our own understanding, because when we do we ultimately rush the process and His timing.


Have a wonderful day!
Khurly Girl

New Year, New You

Happy New Year!!! I love the newness and freshness that a new year brings! Of course each day is a chance to start fresh but a new year is an opportunity to really capitalize on making changes in your life. For me, 2012 was a bit of a ride to say the least and I looked towards 2013 with a sense of renewal. I never go into the new year with "New Year Resolutions" but I do try to focus on certain goals for the year. One of my goals this year was a healthier lifestyle and weightloss -- and I'm proud to say that I've stuck with it!

As the month closes out, to date I've lost 11.8 lbs. Now this is just a fraction of weight in terms of my ultimate goal but it's progress that I'm certainly excited about. I'm typically one of those people who is really focused on exercising and not eating as strictly as I should OR I'm not working out a lot and on some type of "diet." But I know that healthy weightloss requires both exercise and good eating habits.  I'm not going to lie, I love food! I'm a serious foodie! LOL, but I know that I have to focus on making better, healthier food choices 99% of the time and enjoy a bit of "cheating" only about 1% of the time. And because weightloss is 80/20 (food/exercise), I know that if I don't get that in check I will never reach my goal, especially since I've tried almost every diet out there. I've done Veggie Protein shakes, Weight Watchers, Atkins/South Beach, Herbalife, Slimfast, and prescription diet pills -- and with all of them I've had success. But I've always gotten to a point where I got comfortable with the fact that the weight was coming off and resorted back to old, bad habits. So, I never reached my overall goal. This time I wanted things to be different and that would only come as a result of a lifestyle change. So, I got some information from a nutritionist who said to start eating only protein, vegetables, and fruit -- no carbs (bread, rice, potatoes, pasta), no sugar, no alcohol, no dairy -- essentially a low fat, low carb diet. So far I've stuck to the no carbs or sugar guidelines but I have had some alcohol and added in small amounts of cheese. The nutritionist also stated that I should focus on light cardio during this time but not to add in any strenuous workouts until I've reached my target weight. So, the last 2 weeks I've added in some low impact cardio about 3-4 times a week. I've also increased my water intake. Previously, I'd already been a serious water drinker, no soda, no coffee, occassional tea, getting in about 8-10 cups per day. But now I've increased my intake to 14-16 cups per day. Also, once I hit my target weight, I plan to increase the insensity of my workouts and I will also slowly start to add back carbs. The nutritionist stated that when adding back the carbs, you should only add one type of carb per week so that you can see the effect it has on your body. But I do realize though that simple carbs need to play a very minor role in my diet going forward. I typically ate whole grain pasta and brown rice but my downfall has always been bread. I'd try to eat as much whole grain breads as possible but I still loved refined white breads. So, my goal will be to eat very little bread, focus on whole grain products, sweet potatoes in place of white potatoes, and much smaller portions of any carb. Overall, I feel good and I'm looking better physically, and my goal is insight! So, I'll make sure to keep you all posted with before and after pics!

Now that I've told you about one of my goals for the year -- What's your goal for the year? Have you outlined a plan to reach it? Do you have a target date for meeting your goal? Have you made progress against your goal? If you're not making any strides, let's get things in gear and get focused!! One month down and 11 more to go......... :-)

Until Next Time,
KHurly Girl

It Happens Every Day...

ABUSE....It is the misuse, excessive use or improper use of a person or object. So by this definition, even inanimate objects can be abused.  For example, kicking, throwing, or smashing a video game system out of anger.  But in terms of a person, abuse can come in so many different forms from the obvious physical abuse to emotional to verbal to sexual and even neglect. But in whatever form it comes, it's NEVER alright!!

I know in your mind you're thinking, of course it's not. Why is she telling us the obvious?! We all know that abuse is wrong. Well apparently, it's not obvious to a lot of people in this world because there are those who say they wouldn't accept it from another person and then there are also those who say they wouldn't do it to another person -- but both happen each day!  It is estimated that there are 12 million cases of abuse in the U.S. each year. But this statistic is only tallying the REPORTED incidents of abuse and frankly is inaccurate because a lot of abuse cases go unreported for one reason or another.

In my life, I've seen a lot of abusive situations upclose regarding family, friends, children, and friends-of-friends. I've helped other people deal with the ramifications of these situations. But I'd never been in a situation where the abuse was directed at me.  Until recently...when I became the victim of physical abuse. I didn't suffer any broken bones and of course no fatal injuries but I was left with contusions, bruises, and broken blood vessels in my eye for three weeks. I had to wear the shame of that incident everywhere I went as my body healed itself. I tried to hide it, gave co-workers other reasons for my eye being the way it was, and basically just tried to cope the best way I could. I had no choice, the damage was already done.

No, I wasn't in an on-going abusive relationship; I was a victim only once. No, I didn't provoke it or put my hands on him first, or do anything to cause the situation to happen. In the end, he claimed that alcohol and guilt were the reasons for what happened that night; although to me, those are excuses and truly not accepting responsibility for his actions. But be that as it may, this is all it took for me to realize that abuse can come from anyone, even those you least expect it from. And yes, it can happen to you.  For me, it came from a boyfriend who I had been with for years. Who I'd known for 14 years. A man who I'd never suspect would cross that line. A man who I thought had been taught to never put his hands on a woman. A man who would hurt anyone who put their hands on his mother or sisters, so he'd never do anything like that to another woman.  But all those things didn't matter because it happened.  He did cross the line and he did hurt me. And as a result, I walked away from that relationship. I put all the years behind me and moved forward.  It didn't take repeated incidents for me to walk away from this man who claimed to love me because my life means more to me than it obviously meant to him on the night that he put his hands on me. I LOVE ME and I love living, and I would never put myself in a situation where I'd allow this man to have the opportunity to cross the line again. My life is important! And although I've healed and forgiven him for what he did to me (because God teaches us to forgive), I will never forget that day and how it changed my life forever. I am thankful that God has blessed me to be a strong, financially stable woman with self-confidence and a complete understanding of my value and worth.  If I didn't possess these qualities, who knows where I'd be right now. I am also just thankful for life and the ability to move past this situation because some people don't live to talk about their experience. Like everything else in my life, this is a learning experience for me and an opportunity to help others as a result of what I've gone through.

So, I'm writing this post for my own healing purposes but also to help anyone else out there that has experienced some form of abuse and just needs some encouraging words. I just want you to know that ONE TIME IS ONE TOO MANY. YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU CAN WALK AWAY. PLEASE KNOW YOUR VALUE AND UNDERSTAND YOUR WORTH. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU. ABUSE IN ANY FORM IS WRONG, WHETHER IT'S VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL, MENTAL OR PHYSICAL. IT'S NOT OKAY. YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH LOVE FOR YOURSELF TO CHANGE YOUR SITUATION, KNOW THAT GOD LOVES AND YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN TO HIM. 

If you have been the victim of abuse and need help, here is some helpful information:

1.) National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) / http://www.thehotline.org

2.) Rape Abuse and Incest National Network - 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) / http://www.rainn.org

3.) National Center for Victims of Stalking - 1.800.FYI.CALL (394.2255)

4.) National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline - 1.866.331.9474 / http://www.loveisrespect.org

5.) Darkness to Light Hotline (Child Sexual Abuse) - 1.866.FOR.LIGHT (367.5444)

6.) Stop It Now! (Child Sexual Abuse) - 1.888.PREVENT

7.) Childhelp USA National Abuse Hotline - 1.800.4.A.CHILD (422.4453)

8.) National Center on Elder Abuse - 1.800.677.1116

9.) Call 911 of your local police

Outside of the U.S. there are also resources:

1.) American Domestic Violence Crisis Line - 1.866.USWOMEN (Contact a local operator to be connected) / Email: crisis@866women.org

Be blessed,

KHurly Girl

How Deep Is Your Love?

Some people are quick to say they love another person or they are "in love" but a lot of those same people don't know what it really and truly means to love another. There are levels to this thing called love -- do you know how deep your love is? Let's explore......

1) Eros - Known as "erotic love." It is based on strong feelings toward another person. It usually occurs in the first stages of a "romantic" relationship.

This love is based more on physical traits. This is the type of love when a person says he/she has "fallen in love" for a woman/man, because "he/she looked like an angel. " Or a man/woman "falls in love" for a guy/girl because he/she is intelligent, has good 'genetics,' etc.

The weakness with this type of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit." This is the, "I love you because it feels good, and makes ME happy loving you." The keyword is the word "ME." It's a selfish love.

When that person doesn't "feel happy" anymore in loving the other person, he/she is led to believe that he/she has "fallen out of love." When in actuality, there was never any "true love" in the first place. The fact is that the love has yet to establish itself; the people don't know each other well at this point.

Eros love is when two people feel this strong emotional attraction towards one another but they barely really know about each other's personalities. A person usually puts his/her best foot forward, showing only his/her good side -- I call this "meeting their representative." In order to be sure if "true love" exists, two people must know and accept each others' good and bad traits. You have to know and accept the good and the bad, to establish a true love bond.

Furthermore, they must experience a lot with each other, going through BOTH joys and sorrows, pains and pleasures, and still end up together. A lot of sacrifice towards each other is therefore essential to move past eros love.

Eros love is love that is untested by hardships, and therefore may or may not last in the long-term. It may or may not develop into a higher form of love - philos love. Eros love can only succeed in the long-term if it progresses into a higher form of love. Otherwise, it will not last.

The romantic feeling common in "eros love" is natural, and an important part of a relationship between a man and a woman. Romance also plays a role in strengthening the bonds, especially at the start of a relationship. What we need to be careful of is assuming a relationship must be "real love" just because it is romantic, because all we feel is happiness. As with most anything in life, we must learn to use both our heart and mind to judge if something is real.

Be careful also of being in love with the "concept of love" itself, rather than the love for the other person. Television, movies, and media have a way of "romanticizing" love so much, it is often hard to see reality from fiction.You must love a person for his/her uniqueness, not because you simply want to feel the joy of "being in love." Such a love is concerned more with the "self" rather than the partner. And relying purely on emotion without the balance of logic is a recipe for failure.

2) Philos - A love based on friendship between two people.

It is true that two lovers that start out by being friends first before becoming partners usually are the relationships that last more, long-term. Friendship is the foundation of a successful relationship. This is true whether it is  marriage, or a BF/GF, relationship betweeen family members, relationship with co-workers, employers, etc.

In the case of a romantic relationship, the advantage is that you get to know each other first, before committing to a more serious relationship beyond friendship.You start out as friends, then admire each other, then possibly develop strong emotions for the other until you both realize you miss each other more when you're apart. This type of love takes time and is patient.

This is in contrast to a romantic relationship that starts out by "eros love," meaning you get attracted by physical/mental traits alone. With eros love, strong emotions start almost immediately, some would even say "love at first sight," though you do not even know each other that well.

With eros love, you see only each other's strengths/their good side, everything is rosy, mushy, feelings of happiness, etc. But, you cannot judge "real love" between two people based on strong emotions alone.

Philos love is a love based on "give-and-take," where it's mutually beneficial for both people. One partner is still concerned with what he/she can take from the relationship, but at the same time they are also concerned with his/her partner's benefit and therefore gives back in return.

Therefore, philos is a higher type of love than eros. Philos love is a mutual, "give-and take" relationship, while eros love is a self-based, form of love that is more concerned with the "self" or self-benefit. Although like eros love, philos love must develop into a higher form of love, the highest love of all - "agape" or unconditional love.

3) Agape - This is unconditional love. This is the third and highest type of love.

Agape love is above both philos love and eros love. It is a love that is totally selfless, where a person gives out love to another person even if this act does not benefit him/her in any way. Whether the love given is returned or not, the person continues to love even without any self-benefit.

Say, you help out a person, even though that person hates you. Or you take insults from your partner without firing back, all the while forgiving and praying for your partner to amend his/her ways. Or the "unconditional love" that a mother has for her child. Or the love we show for our parents, taking care of them and helping them in their old age. Just like they took care of us when we were young, it is done with or without benefit in return.

However, the highest type of agape love is not human at all, but divine - God's unconditional love for us, His children. God's love was shown to us the most when God sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ to his suffering and death on the cross for our salvation. There is no greater love than this. Jesus had no obligation to die for us, but He chose to. It is His gift, His ultimate gift. He chose to die for us because He knew what would happen to us, to all of mankind if He left us on our own. Without Jesus' death on the cross, mankind is doomed to eternal damnation.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 provides a perfect description for agape love: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." This is one of my favorite scriptures and a true testament to the love we should all show to each other.

In essence, eros love is "physical", philos love is "mental", and agape love is "spiritual." Thus, love is made up of the three fundamental elements of man: physical, mental and spiritual. And each of these three elements are all necessary in our lives to grow, develop, and to love one another as human beings. Keep love alive, people!! :-)

KHurly Girl

Follow Your Heart

This is an outstanding article!  If you say you've never been in this position at some point in your life, then you're lying to yourself.  We've all been there and let some type of "dream" pass us by. But in the end, we owe it to ourselves to follow our hearts.  And I truly believe that if people followed their hearts more often, the world could actually be a happier place for the masses! :-)

What Really Happens When You Don’t Follow Your Heart « Thought Catalog

10 Signs He Is In Love With You

Great article to check out! I agree with it but I'd also add that he should make you a top priority in his life. And your priority in his life should be evident not only through his words but also in his actions.....But let's not forget God is FIRST priority! ;-)

http://shymagazine.com/shy/10-signs-he-is-in-love-with-you.html

At This Moment

A cloud gracefully glides across the blue sky…A bird chirps a lovely hymn…The grass sways with the wind…The rain pelts the roof like hands to a drum…At this moment, life is moving!  Your son/daughter is screaming your name because they want a bit of attention from you...Your partner rubs your back gently trying to show affection…A family member says “I love you” at the end of a conversation...God is whispering to you through that still small voice...Yes, all of this is happening at this VERY moment!  And guess what!? You didn’t even notice.  *tsk tsk*

But in all honesty, it makes no sense that you’re not enjoying this moment.  Why? Well, we aren’t promised tomorrow – who promised you tomorrow!?  You ask yourself, how can this be?  Of course I pay attention to X, Y, and Z.  But you don’t and the end result is that life is passing you by! 

You’re too busy, too moody, too angry, too stressed, too consumed in your thoughts and activities, too confused by the actions of others, and/or just too oblivious to it all -- to see all of these things right in front of your very own eyes. You’re living for yesterday or you’re living for tomorrow but you’re certainly NOT living for today. You are not living in the moment, this moment. You’re not taking advantage of what this moment has to offer.  Are you living up to your own abilities and fulfilling your dreams in this moment? Are you being truthful to yourself and what your purpose is in this life?

Simply put, today is all you have and all you have is THIS VERY MOMENT!  Enjoy it.  Cherish it.  Relish in it.  Because this very well could be your LAST moment…Take a moment to check out this video and remember to "Life, Laugh, Love" each day!

Coincidence or Not??

<= A few weeks ago I got a fortune cookie that read this -- see pic.  Now, I didn't ponder over it too long the day I saw it but since then it's been laying on my desk at work, and the "whole coincidence or not" concept has been on my mind.  The thought itself was interesting to me because in general I'm one of those people who believe things don't really happen by chance and coincidences don't really exist -- primarily a fatalism viewpoint.  But as I pondered those 3 words on the small slip of paper from my fortune cookie, I couldn't help but to think that maybe some things are just coincidences. But as I let that thought sink in a bit, it felt almost contrary to everything I stand for and believe in, it was a totally taboo thought!! Ok, maybe that's a little extreme (LOL) but honestly, it's a challenging thought for me to grasp because at the heart of me I'm an everything-happens-for-a-reason type of chick.  Although I do understand that "there are NO coincidences" is probably also a challenge for others; I've never really sat down to discuss what "others" around me think about this topic.  Overall, it really made me start feeling like there may be some gray areas in my thought process.  So, I did some research on the topic.

When polling friends about the subject, one quoted, "Coincidences are miracles that man doesn't give God credit for." For me, this is a ridiculously powerful quote.  And for other believers in God and His role in our lives, it makes perfect sense.  But at the same time, it's a quote and an opinion.  Therefore, either you agree or you don't but it offers no scientific proof if you're one of those types of people who need "evidence."  But many scientists have developed theoretical explanations on how events happen to repeatedly coincide through the use of statistics, physics, and other postulates -- so there is some supporting evidence to go along with the idea that coincidences are very probable. Although the types of coincidences used in these scientific calculations could be very mundane and not the otherwordly experiences and happenings that I'm thinking about when I say "there are no coincidences."  On the other hand, spiritual teachers insist that there are absolutely no coincidences in the world.  Everything that occurs can be related to prior cause or association, no matter how vast or how minute and trivial.  All is affected by something related to it that is seen or unseen, cognized or unknowable.  So I'd say that it seems in essence that those who base their thoughts in spirituality always tend to lean towards -- no coincidences. And those that base their sights on scientific findings feel that coincidences are in fact a part of life.  But haven't we all had some seemingly eerie incident happen to us at one point or another in our lives that reinforced the thought that coincidences simply don't exist?  I know I have!! :-)

So, where do you stand in this debate -- Are there coincidences? Are coincidences non-existent? Or are you somewhere in the middle?  If nothing at all, it certainly makes you think.

Later!
KHurly Girl

I Am....

So, I can't believe it's been over a month since I posted on here but that seems to happen to me every so often when I get caught up in the rat race of life.  I've had so much going on lately and it's finally winding down and I had a second to breath.  So, I was thinking about why I blog in the first place and this is what I came up with...Take a look!

I am what I say I am...A thinker...A creator...A friend...A partner...A provider...A child of God...A lover of all things good...A feeler...A critic...And why is all of that relative or important?  Because all those experiences and "things" are what I build from to create my posts on this site.  This blog allows me to express myself in ways that may not always be available through other means. It allows me to be creative and to use my God given talent as a writer.  I was never trained to be a "writer" and don't really even like to think of myself as one; I'm just a young woman who loves to use her writings as a form of expression on a blog that she created. I've always loved to write short stories and other things that allowed me to be creative, and I've also always been told that I was good at it. So, why not do it as a hobby and contribute to the piece of society that finds my viewpoint to be interesting? Exactly, that's why I do it! *shrug* LOL. 

Anyhow, I was reading a post on a friend's blog the other day and that's what sparked my thoughts on how much I love to blog, and how empowering it can be to read the thoughts and opinions of others at times, from the perspective of their blog.  Most people who get online and write about their experiences, revelations, thoughts, opinions, etc. are not paid to do this and if they are they may not make much from it -- they do it because they love to do it, it's a venue for self-expression, and an outlet for the creativity that lies within them.  They do it because it feels good to tells others your "story" in whatever way you feel like expressing it. You have free reign to do and say whatever you please to captivate an audience and express whatever it is you want to say. And I JUST LOVE IT!

So, if you know of any blogs that you love to read, including this one of course (LOL), go out and tell a friend about the site -- spread the word to friends, family, and colleagues. Leave comments to support that person and/or give them constructive criticism, if you feel the need. Agree, disagree, something, and/or anything on their posts just to let them know that you came, you saw, and that you had a feeling one way or another!  As a blogger, I know it's always nice to hear SOMETHING in return and at times it helps to improve the site. Anyhow, just a few of my thoughts today....Later!  :-) 

KHurly Girl