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If you've ever felt like your mate wasn't expressing their love to you the way you needed to hear/feel it or the way that they expressed their love for you was different than your own...I may have the solution to your problem! Take a look at the book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. It is a wonderful book, an easy read, and could prove to be an important staple in your relationship!
This book outlines the five primary emotional love languages that each person speaks. Very often, when we speak our primary love language, we're confused when our partner does not understand what we are communicating because it comes across as foreign to them. This book helps you to discover your primary love language as well as your partners so that you can apply certain ideas to improve your relationship.
The five love languages are: 1.) Words of Affirmation, 2.) Quality Time, 3.) Receiving Gifts, 4.) Acts of Service, and 5.) Physical Touch. Now, I'm not going to give you too much detail on the five languages, so please take a look for yourself. But I will tell you that after reading the book, I discovered that my primary love language was "Quality Time." It was obvious to me that this has always been key in my relationships and the thing that I complain about the most if I'm not receiving enough of it. I also discovered that I had a secondary love language which is "Physical Touch" because affection and intimacy are very important to me during the quality time that I spend with my partner.
I was also able to understand why certain past relationships were complicated and difficult for me. I thought back to one recent relationship and realized that my ex's love language was "Receiving Gifts." So, the way he'd express his love for me was by giving me things. Now, I loooove gifts (LOL) but that was not the way to my heart. I'm a "feeler" so the material things always come secondary in my book. As a result, while in that relationship, if we argued then he'd buy me something, take me shopping, etc. If things were good, he'd buy me things, take me shopping, trips, etc. It was all quite lovely, don't get me wrong, but all I really wanted was to feel the love and know that he was focused on me and the health of our relationship. The material things could not resolve the issues and they didn't make me feel any more loved. Ultimately, that relationship ended because our viewpoints as a whole were very different but I'm convinced now that our differences as far as love languages, and our inability to understand each other in this area, played a large role in the demise of our relationship.
So, I highly recommend you pick up this book, read it online, or even skim tips from the Internet. Either way, it's a must read and it could save your current or future relationships! I endorse it! :-)
- KHurly Girl
