The Five Love Languages -- Which One Are You?

If you've ever felt like your mate wasn't expressing their love to you the way you needed to hear/feel it or the way that they expressed their love for you was different than your own...I may have the solution to your problem!  Take a look at the book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. It is a wonderful book, an easy read, and could prove to be an important staple in your relationship!

This book outlines the five primary emotional love languages that each person speaks.  Very often, when we speak our primary love language, we're confused when our partner does not understand what we are communicating because it comes across as foreign to them.  This book helps you to discover your primary love language as well as your partners so that you can apply certain ideas to improve your relationship.

The five love languages are: 1.) Words of Affirmation, 2.) Quality Time, 3.) Receiving Gifts, 4.) Acts of Service, and 5.) Physical Touch.  Now, I'm not going to give you too much detail on the five languages, so please take a look for yourself.  But I will tell you that after reading the book, I discovered that my primary love language was "Quality Time." It was obvious to me that this has always been key in my relationships and the thing that I complain about the most if I'm not receiving enough of it.  I also discovered that I had a secondary love language which is "Physical Touch" because affection and intimacy are very important to me during the quality time that I spend with my partner. 

I was also able to understand why certain past relationships were complicated and difficult for me.  I thought back to one recent relationship and realized that my ex's love language was "Receiving Gifts."  So, the way he'd express his love for me was by giving me things. Now, I loooove gifts (LOL) but that was not the way to my heart. I'm a "feeler" so the material things always come secondary in my book.  As a result, while in that relationship, if we argued then he'd buy me something, take me shopping, etc.  If things were good, he'd buy me things, take me shopping, trips, etc.  It was all quite lovely, don't get me wrong, but all I really wanted was to feel the love and know that he was focused on me and the health of our relationship.  The material things could not resolve the issues and they didn't make me feel any more loved.  Ultimately, that relationship ended because our viewpoints as a whole were very different but I'm convinced now that our differences as far as love languages, and our inability to understand each other in this area, played a large role in the demise of our relationship.

So, I highly recommend you pick up this book, read it online, or even skim tips from the Internet.  Either way, it's a must read and it could save your current or future relationships!  I endorse it! :-)

- KHurly Girl

I'm Single...And My Eggs Are Aging!

So, basic biology is that females are born with a set number of eggs from birth...You don't get any more or any less, so you need to use them wisely...LOL. Second, because these same eggs are with you from birth, the sooner you use them the better off you'll be.  You know, there are expiration dates on those things! But what happens when your eggs are steadily aging and you're still SINGLE!!??  Can we say DILEMMA #1?! LOL. 

Ok, so what's the number one question asked by people when they find out that you're single? 

***Drum roll, please***

"SO, WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?!" Goooooooood question!!!  Honestly, I despise this question with a passion! LOL.  Like I have time to run down all of my past relationships and explain why they didn't work out, or why I chose to leave the relationships, or what "he" did to make me leave, or the decisions "he" made to end the relationship, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc!!  I'd rather just say, "Because I want to be," although that's really not the case either.  But, it's a lot easier just to say that!!  ;-)  But of course, people like to pry in your business and get details.  Go figure!  LOL. 

So, I took some time to think about how I could give an accurate answer to this question without divulging all of my business! The number one reason that I'm single is because I know my worth and what I will and will not stand for in a relationship.  It's not hard to meet men -- seriously, it's one or more at every corner you turn. But quality men are not as easy to meet.  Like Drake said, "how can you find out who is real when anyone will leave with you"...LOL.  I mean, I'm not chop liver over here.  I am an intelligent woman with a lot of qualities that men find appealing and I'm very confident about this statement.  I'm a girly girl but not so girly at the same time; I got that duality -- guys dig it!  haha. And apparently, I'm viewed as "wife material" because I've been engaged twice and almost a third time.  But unfortunately for those I've dated, I've ended 99.8% of all my relationships. Close family members have even called me "the runaway bride" but you have to get to the altar first to be able to run away, so that name would never stick. LOL. Some may even say that I'm a picky woman but that's simply not true either because I've dated a large spectrum of men; close friends can never tell what "my type" is, although I do have one.  So, what's the real issue here!? 

I know what I want in a man, and knowing what you want and meeting someone that fits the bill is not always simple.  I know how I expect to be treated in a relationship and I know that I offer that same treatment in return to my partner.  Is there room for error?  Of course because I'm also a very forgiving woman; I will stick with a relationship through the ups and downs to make sure that I gave it my best shot.  That can certainly be viewed as a positive and a negative though.  But my main issue is that I'm not willing to settle for something less than what I deserve.  I deserve a man that will cherish the love we build together. A man that will not take me for granted, and will work to maintain the beauty and purity of our relationship.  I deserve a man that will put our relationship on a pedastool and put in the work necessary to make me happy, as I work to make him happy.  I'm also a romantic and I look for the right chemistry in a relationship; do we have what it takes together to weather the storms because anyone can be there when everything is peaches and cream.  There also has to be a good match when it comes to our spirituality and faith in God because that is of the utmost importance to me for marriage, because if I plan to one day allow this man to lead our family we need to be on the same page. I do have this idealistic view of what I want in a relationship but the realist in me knows there has to be room for compromise and he may not be able to check EVERY box. But that is fine with me, no one is perfect but I know there is a perfect person for me out there.

It just gets really disappointing when you meet guys and see the potential only to find out not long after that it's not going to work out.  And I'm no spring chicken anymore, MY EGGS ARE AGING!! LOL. My friends think that is really funny to hear but I feel my internal clock ticking -- I'm ready for babies!!  But I refuse to rush into a relationship because of this factor; it will all happen when it's supposed to happen for me.  However, it's hard not to get caught up in the want of it all...waiting for "Prince Charming" and anticipating that ideal relationship that will outshine all the rest from your past.  It can be hard at times but I'm optimistic. I know that when the time is right, the relationship will come.  Until then, I'll continue to live the single life, date the "spectrum," pray for my ideal mate to recognize me as such, and live for today with hopes for the future.  Although, I'm still single and my eggs are AGING!! LOL. Life goes on...

- KHurly Girl