Keep It Moving...

I recently moved and let me tell you -- moving is one of my LEAST favorite things to do in this world!  But of course moving has it's positives also because it's a new beginning in uncharted waters.  It's a fresh start!  It's a chance to organize and/or re-organize so that you can get your home in some type of order. And in my case, I am exceedingly blessed to have had my mom by my side along the way to help me out...Ok, who am I kidding...LOL. My mom did not just "help" me out; she is the ONLY reason that I was able to pull this move off without a hitch and I am so thankful for all of her help! 

So, enough about my move...Let's get down to business!  Basically, the physical act of moving made me think about its relationship to life.  In life, there are times when you need to pack up the past in preparation for changes in your present so that you can move into the future. In order to prepare for your move, you need to dust off those pieces of "furniture" and other household items to see what exactly you want to take with you into the future and what you want to leave throw away and/or donate -- Read: PEOPLE. Next, you need to sort through the "papers and other things" to figure out what's important -- Read: ISSUES and SITUATIONS.  Then, you have to coordinate with "movers" to figure out the cost of the move and if the time you have in mind is a viable option -- Read: GOD and PRAYER.  You also need to pack up everything and prepare it to go with you on this journey into the future, making sure that you've got all of the fragile and important items sorted through and you have enough boxes to hold your things -- Read: A CLEAR MIND, FOCUS, and THE STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD. Each of these steps are part of your "move" and are components necessary to assess your present situation in regard to your future and it's success.  All in all, these moments are precious and extrememly important so that you can truly determine what aspects of your life need some fine tuning and what items need to be removed from your life. Think about it and take the time to prepare for that "move"...Trust me, you'll thank yourself later! ;-)

- KHurly Girl

Life is For the Birds

Have you ever thought about the phrase, "life is for the birds?" Yeah, well me either...LOL.  That is until the other day when this scenario came to mind.  The phrase itself actually has a negative connotation.  It means that life is meaningless, objectionable or worthless but this of course is certainly not the case.  But I used this title anyway because the idea of birds as they relate to life is the whole point of this article, as confusing as that may sound. LOL. So anyhow, I was outdoors getting in some exercise and I looked up to watch a bird flying above me.  While watching the bird I thought about how it takes flight, all the effort that is put into flapping it's wings to propel itself forward, and then it stops flapping and stabilizes itself...At this point, the bird gives it's control over to the wind and to it's momentum -- soaring for a bit.  It's almost like they take a break to catch their breath and then continue in flight once again to put in more effort.  This cycle continues repeatedly until they reach their destination.  AND THIS MY FRIENDS IS HOW YOU SHOULD LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Life is always changing and reinventing itself as your experiences mold you.  And in life there are plenty of goals that you set for yourself along the way as you move through these experiences and life changes.  But to reach those goals you need to push hard and put all of your effort into reaching certain points along the way.  Then, after you've pushed and pushed there comes a time when you just need to take a break and let God take over.  At this point you can assess where your effort has taken you and even redirect your route, if necessary.  But you also need to allow yourself to glide a bit so that you can recognize all that you've accomplished and see the fruits of your labor.  Then once again, push forward to reach that next goal.  You continue this cycle until it's all over, and in over I mean death, because you will never run out of goals to set and achieve.  Life has plenty to offer when it comes to achievements, small and large, you just need to set your sight on the one's that you want to accomplish.

So, think about it...Are you putting in the necessary effort to reach your goals?  If not, try living your life like the birds!

Tootles,
KHurly Girl

...."But You Say He's Just a Friend"

Let's just jump right into things...Why do people say a person is "just a friend?"  Or a buddy, or a homegirl/homeboy, or whatever....specifically, if that's not really the case?!  Aren't you doing yourself a grave disservice by categorizing a person that way if they truly aren't one?  Well, that is unless you're trying to cover up some dirt that you did with that person and can't tell the real story behind who they are, but that's another topic for another day...LOL.

I was recently in a situation where an associate, let's call her Jill, introduced me to a guy, let's call him Jack, whom she claimed was just a friend...#ThinkBizMarkie.  LOL.  I asked Jill about her relationship with Jack a few times; she insisted they were nothing but friends.  I asked Jack about Jill and he also insisted that they were just friends.  To make a long story short, Jack started to feel kind of friendly about me and showed a bit of interest.  So, guess what happened next?  Yup, you guessed it!!!  As it turns out, someone was fibbing a bit!  Confused yet??  I was confused too and right in the midst of a brewing situation...LOL.  Can we say -- DRAMA!!??  Needless to say, the KHurly Girl does not do drama!!  I avoid it at all costs because I like to put all my cards on the table and go from there.  To make things a bit more interesting, this same person, Jill, met a man that I once dated and it seemed like there might have been something going on there but I shut things down QUICK -- why?  Because I dated him and I don't share men I dated with friends/associates/family, etc. That's just not cool in my book.  I made it very clear to the guy and to Jill that because there was some past history there, woman code policy was in full effect.  LOL.  For those that don't know what that is, it's "if I touched him, you don't."  But I clearly had a convo with both of them and stated that if they stepped over that line then I wouldn't be interested in having a friendship anymore with either of them. Some might say this is a tad harsh but I don't care, that's how I feel.  The funniest thing about this though is that Jill tried to equate that situation to the Jack situation when they are TOTALLY different.  How do you compare "I dated him" versus "I never dated him and we're just friends?"  AND I had a convo with the both of you about it and made things clear where I stood, yet to this day, I've never had a convo with Jill about why she's really upset about it (situation with Jack) because she has not come to me and said ANYTHING about Jack to me.  Right, right...You can't!!  Ok, so back to the point of this whole ordeal...LOL.

So, now I'm left with trying to understand why Jill would say Jack was "just a friend" but then got upset when Jack got friendly with me?!  It just doesn't make sense...Well, it does make sense and that's because Jill LIED about her feelings for Jack!  Or maybe lied is a strong word, maybe she was just confused...LOL.  Either way, why am I looked at with a side eye when Jill was the one denying her feelings all along?!  I shouldn't be and that's the real issue.  I shouldn't be held accountable for reading Jill's mind when I clearly asked her what was up with Jack and she told me nothing!

Anyhow, I can't really say at this point that everyone involved is still cool with each other; well, me and Jack are still cool but Jill -- ummm, not so much.  And this my friends is where the moral of the story lies -- honesty is ALWAYS the best policy when it comes to your feelings!  Too many times people aren't in touch with their own feelings, honest with themselves, or others about how they feel.  People are not mind readers.  Communication IS KEY in ALL relationships, from friendships to marriages!  You owe it to yourself to look in the mirror, be upfront and honest with yourself first, and then with others next because in the end there will only be hurt feelings if you don't.

Word to the wise when it comes to matters of the heart, if you even THINK you could have feelings for a person then don't categorize them as "just a friend" to another person because you never know what types of feelings could develop down the line, so why get caught in the crossfire?!  Just say, I'm not sure how I feel about that person and leave it at that!  End of story.

Signing out.....KHurly Girl

LOL, LMBO, HA HA HA, ROTFLMBO...

 Today, I went out with friends for lunch.  It was pretty impromptu; nothing planned out. It wasn't even a group of people that I'd normally get together -- an old friend, a "new-er" friend and the "new-er" friend's boyfriend.  But let me tell you, it was one of the best lunch group outings that I've been to in a looooong time!! Why you ask?!  Well, I'll tell you...LOL.  Because the laughter NEVER stopped!  We laughed about everything....And when I say everything, I do mean everything!  From joking with the waitress, to stories amongst ourselves, cracking jokes on each other, etc, etc. It just went on and on and on...LOL.

Now, I'm the type of person who loves to joke around a lot and have a good laugh whenever possible, and I probably use "LOL" and "LMBO" way too much when typing (notice above, twice already!), and I generally just love to enjoy myself in whatever setting I'm in.  But when you're with a group of friends that you generally care about and you are able to share good laughs, it just puts you in the best mood! 

Of course, there are also scientific reasons for why laughter on a regular basis is beneficial...Laughter helps release enzymes and hormones that are helpful for the normal functioning of various organs, as well as enhances the body to release natural antihistamines. It also activates T-cells, a natural antibiotic produced in the body, and helps boost the immune system and fight infections. Laughter also reduces the levels of certain hormones, which helps relieve stress, depression, anxiety, grief, anger and irritation. It also decreases pain by releasing endorphins, and improves our attentiveness, pulse and heart rate. Laughing has also proven beneficial for the people suffering from hypertension because it helps lower the blood pressure to normal.  Laughter is also a good overall workout for respiratory, abdominal, leg, back and facial muscles; and it tones intestinal functioning, massages abdominal organs and strengthens abdominal muscles. And for those trying to slim down, laughter also helps burn calories and is beneficial for weight loss!!  Now if that isn't a reason to laugh, I don't know what is...LOL. Laughter also offers psychological health benefits such as boosts to your self-confidence and mental strength to cope with conflicts and challenges in life. It also helps people end anxiety and depression. Socially, laughing enhances our ability to connect with others and makes us more energized and increases our interest in daily activities. 

But of course you probably know a few people who just can't let loose; they don't know what it feels like to just enjoy life and laugh over something, anything, nothing...Honestly, I feel sorry for them and their insides...Can you imagine?!  Ugh! LOL.  Anyhow, so maybe that was way more than you needed to know about the benefits of laughter (LOL) but I really just wanted to stress how important it is in your daily life to LAUGH! 

  

So smile, enjoy your time with friends and family, laugh at those corny jokes, laugh at yourself, and learn how to not take things so seriously....Life is too short and laughter feeds the soul!  Hopefully your soul isn't growling for laughter like an empty stomach does for food...LOL. Corny joke? Maybe... :-)

Quote of the day: "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter" ~ E.E. Cummings

He/She Loves Me...He/She Loves Me Not

Ok, so as a child/teen we played a game called “He Loves Me…He Loves Me Not.” Anyone remember it?! Hopefully, I’m not the only one…LOL. Anyhow, the purpose of the game was to determine whether the object of your affection felt the same way about you or not. So, to refresh your memory a bit -- you’d pick a flower and for each petal that you’d pick off of the flower you’d say “He (or she) loves me” and then alternate with “He (or she) loves me not”…I’m guessing more little girls played this game than boys but you get the point! :-) So when you get to the very last petal, whatever phrase you are on at this point, represents the truth as far as the love (or not) that your object of affection has for you.

Now, why did I rehash this game and the rules behind it? Well, as adults we sometimes struggle with understanding the actions of another person and whether or not their actions constitute love for us. Some would say that if you have to wonder then it’s probably not love and a lot of times I’d have to agree. And when I say love, I mean being in love and not just loving someone. ‘Love’ versus ‘in love’ is a whole other ballgame…LOL. But if you’re still in question, here are a few points to keep in mind that might help you determine if someone is truly in love with you:

• He/she shows interest in your life – He/she asks about your day, family, friends and work; He/she tries to remember whatever you say and do.

Think about it: If he/she shows no interest in the things that encompass your life and fill your day, how could he/she possibly love you? Those things are part of who you are.

• He/she knows exactly what makes you smile, feel special and taken care of.

Think about it: If he/she is selfish and only cares about themselves, then how could they possibly love you? And knowing what makes you smile/feel special/taken care of is not a one-time thing or something that happens only around holidays or other special moments, it should be regularly expressed.

• He/she is very affectionate, attentive, sensitive, considerate, and cares about your needs, wants and desires.

Think about it: Again, this is selfishness at its best. If your mate is only concerned with what you’ve giving in this department and how you address their needs but they never take your needs into consideration -- how can this be love?

• He/she calls (texts or emails) you just because he/she was thinking about you, misses you, or just felt like it.

Think about it: Anyone who has ever experienced love knows that a special person in your life begins to permeate your thoughts on a regular basis. You think of them constantly. Sometimes it’s not always feasible to reach out during the day and let that person know that you’re thinking of them but like most things, if there is a will then there is a way.

• He/she wants to spend as much time with you as is possible. He/she clears up their busy schedule and makes plans just for you.

Think about it: If he/she is always putting others ahead of you (i.e., friends, family, work, etc.) or never making time in their schedule to be with you, how can they possibly love you? Building a loving relationship requires time with that person!

• He/she walks that special extra mile just for you. He/she shares your interests even if he/she doesn't like what you like, puts aside what they could be doing just to talk, listen or do something for you instead.

Think about it: Is it really love if your mate constantly says to you, I don’t like this or that, so I’m not interested in doing it with you or talking about it? Is it really love if they can’t take the time sometimes to talk to you or just listen to how you feel? Probably not.

• He/she tells you how wonderful you make him/her feel and how having you in his/her life enriches it.

Think about it: This is self-explanatory. A person who loves you will express to you in words or actions, and hopefully both, how you make them feel and how special you are to them.

• He/she does small unexpected things to pleasantly surprise you.

Think about it: He/she will send an email message, show up at your workplace, get you something you always wanted, leave a note on the refrigerator, something, anything, etc. LOL. A person that loves you will go out of their way to show you – point blank!

• He/she loves and enjoys being physically close to you.

Think about it: Scientists have shown that the amount of body contact (physical touch) is vital to a person’s mental and physical development as an infant and our happiness as adults. So, if you love your partner – you’d want physical contact with them. Although, this should not be confused with sex; intimacy and sexual contact are also both important for most people in terms of expressing their love. But that’s another topic for another day…LOL

• He/she gives without being asked and accepts from you with gratitude.

Think about it: A person who truly loves you doesn’t need an excuse to give to you. They don’t expect anything in return but gratitude and appreciation from you. Someone who truly loves you wouldn't hold what they did for you over your head and would not play tit-for-tat games!

• He/she wants a future with you in it. He/she doesn’t just talk about it but they also start planning for it.

Think about it: A person who loves you will want to be with you for the long haul. Even if the relationship never makes it there, their intentions are clear – they want a future with you, can see themselves with you in the future, and/or plan for you to be a part of their future.

• He/she tells you he/she loves you.

Think about it: If your partner can’t say those three little words, then it’s not love. A person who loves you will shout it from the rooftops and they won’t care what anyone thinks about it. Point blank!

• You just know it – no doubting, no questioning, no wondering, no convincing or trying to make him/her love you and no strings attached. You look into his/her eyes and you know it. Something inside of you just knows.

Think about it: This is clear as the driven snow because it’s purely based on how you feel but at the same time it is one of the most subjective points due to it being based on your opinion and judgment. The heart sometimes wants what the heart wants and it blurs your judgment. So, pleeeease be careful with this one! LOL

Now....Hopefully this list helped a few of you out there!! But please note that this list is not comprehensive, only you know what feels right in your relationship. As always, communication is paramount for the success of any relationship. If you don’t feel like you’re receiving what you should from your mate, talk to them and express how you’re feeling. If you don’t see any progress towards what has been discussed after you’ve talked to them about your feelings, then it is time to truly evaluate or re-evaluate why you’re in a relationship with a person that does not love you. End of story! :-)

KHurly Girl

What's the Meaning of Life?

What can I say about life? Well, I am deeply enchanted with life! Why? Why not?! It’s a beautiful thing and I love mine. My life has not been all roses and lovely things. There have been thorns, bumpy roads, setbacks, hurt and disappointment but in the end there is nothing but JOY because I am living! I am making my way and there are so many people in this world that will never have the experiences I’ve had or say they’ve done the things I’ve done. This is MY life!

No matter what is happening in YOUR life at any given moment, the next day is a new day to start fresh! Your life is unique because no matter how many experiences you have, no other person will have those same exact experiences. This makes your life valuable to others because you can offer insight, opinions and experience that others have no firsthand experience about. You are the keeper of unique knowledge and understanding, which comprises YOUR LIFE!

In my day-to-day life, I try to always stay positive…to reflect…to embrace the good and the bad…to learn…to experience new things…to enjoy each day, hour, minute and second! Am I always chipper and spreading peace and love? That’s a resounding -- NO!! LOL, but when those down times hit I try not to stay there for too long because there is always someone somewhere wishing they could live the life that I’m living and that puts things in perspective for me.

So, in terms of what I want to discuss on my blog in regard to life – I want to talk about my experiences, my highs and my lows, what brings me joy and what brings me sadness, my inspirations and my want to inspire others, God in my life, my goals, my aspirations, my purpose and how all the things that I’ve learned can somehow help YOU! Why? Because part of my purpose in life is to help others!

Quote of the day: “Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” – Booker T. Washington

Stay tuned, my friends… :-)