Summer's Coming to an End!!

Well, it had to happen sooner or later -- summer is officially whinding down! August is closing it's doors as of today...School is resuming across the US...It's getting cooler in the evenings...The sun is hiding itself from us a little earlier everyday...Fun in the sun is soon to be a part of the past because leaves will soon be on the ground.  It can all be sort of depressing, can't it?!  Just a little bit?!....LOL, nawwww, not really unless you've been diagnosed with Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD)!  But seriously, we go through it every year of our lives so we should be adjusted to it by now.  It's a part of life! 

But this time of year should make you think about the transitions in our lives that we deal with regularly in almost every aspect. Every year we're forced to go through the seasonal changes, not by choice but by circumstance, because that's just the way life goes and the way God created this world to be.  And as a result, it brings about periods of reflection and prompts change. Or at least it should to an extent...LOL.  This should be the time that you sit back, think about the last few months and reflect, and plan for this next phase and/or next chapter in your life. It could even be something special that forces you to focus on the transitions like a relationship, child, job, or even those 5 lbs you gained from being with that new man or woman. LOL. Whatever the reason, now is the time...Use it to your advantage!  And keep in mind that every change, transition, etc. has a beauty of it's own.  Fall, in particular, is a beautiful time of the year. All of the colors...The beginning preparation of the land for rebirth in the spring...Fall clothing!!  I mean, the clothing is enough for me, I love fall...LOL.  But I digress, haha.  Just know that this is the time of the year to use as a marker for your life -- embrace the changes of the season and apply it to your life!  I wrote another blog that was a little similar a few months back called "Life is for the Birds"...Take a look it as well if you have time!

Anyhow....So long summer, we will miss you... :-)  And remember, "It's not important where we stand, but in what direction we are headed."

Until next time!!

KHurly Girl

The Great Pretenders with Envious Eyes on the Realist

In this life, there are two types of people – the Realist and the Pretenders. 

The Pretenders walk this Earth trying to be something that they are not, imitating things that they see and people around them.  They pretend that their lives are much grander than they ultimately are.  They brag about things to make themselves feel better, when all the while they are simply insecure about themselves.  They feel that if they don’t attain a certain position in life, a certain amount of money, certain material things, or even a certain person – that life just isn’t right.  They have a hard time accepting the hand that “real life” has dealt them, so they attempt to create a surreal existence where they are untouchable to the many things that affect us all.  They TRY to present an outer “beauty” to the world but this is simply so that people don’t peer too deeply into their inner-being and see just how ugly they truly are.  They are liars, manipulators, fake “friends,” low self-esteem having, poor excuse totting members of the human race -- overall, they are misled people.  They are not afraid to attempt to derail another person that is close to them for their own personal gain or for no reason at all except pure jealousy.  They pretend that the sometimes harsh reality of life doesn’t affect them, they attempt to appear bigger and better than the experiences we all go through in life.  They don’t realize that God has put these “bumps” in our pathway so that we can grow, adapt, and change into better human beings.  In the end, the Pretenders are also the losers in this life because what they fail to realize is that things done in the dark always come to light and that eventually the “ugly” inner-being WILL show through.  Those material things that they have attained may cost a lot but they honestly hold little real value.  Their outer beauty will fade or could be taken away in an instant.  And for my Pretender women, when the weave comes out, the roots grow out, the makeup comes off, and you’re stripped of your label-whore ways and other material things – you’re just as God made you!  Which of course can't be bad; but of course maybe it isn’t too attractive either (LOL), get over it and stop being jealous of others. 

The Realist walk this Earth knowing that life isn’t perfect and that sometimes they are thrown curveballs.  They realize that they may not be where they want to be in life but until life is over, they have time to make the necessary moves to get where they want and need to be.  They don’t brag because they know that what they have is not only through their works but most importantly the result of God working in their lives.  They understand that their true value is not a representation of any material thing they may possess. They know that no matter how much money they make, it will never give them happiness or peace because that comes from within; although, this doesn’t keep them from striving to be the best person they can be or from attaining wealth.  They roll with the punches that life has dealt them.  They know that inner beauty is what keeps people in your lives and that outer beauty will certainly fade.  They value their friendships and are true friends, dependable people, and trustworthy in nature.  No, they aren’t perfect and they most certainly have made some mistakes in life but their existence is not based on pettiness or competition because they realize that their true purpose is to learn and to grow. They know that life can be challenging at times but they are not here to put others down as they move upwards, they are not even here to be concerned about what the next person is doing at all – they are here to learn from their mistakes and from others, and to teach those around them, in an effort to enlighten the masses and those intertwined with their life purpose.  In the end, the Realists are the winners in life because they choose to live in the light and seek to remove themselves from situations that reflect the dark.  Realists are true light seekers by nature because the light represents truth and purity in a world that sometimes seems corrupted by those that choose to seek darkness.   Realist women know that no amount of weave, makeup, or material things will make her a better person than anyone else – she knows that her inner-beauty and character are the true defining traits that set her apart from others.  She knows that God has defined a purpose and plan for her life and there is no reason to be jealous of anyone or anything.

Some of you have chosen to walk the path of the Pretender while others choose to be the Realist, while others walk the fine line somewhere in between.  Just know there are consequences to every action – and whether there is action or no action, there will still be a reaction!  Sleep on it and choose your path wisely…

Thanks for reading…… J

KHurly Girl

        

Keep It Moving...

I recently moved and let me tell you -- moving is one of my LEAST favorite things to do in this world!  But of course moving has it's positives also because it's a new beginning in uncharted waters.  It's a fresh start!  It's a chance to organize and/or re-organize so that you can get your home in some type of order. And in my case, I am exceedingly blessed to have had my mom by my side along the way to help me out...Ok, who am I kidding...LOL. My mom did not just "help" me out; she is the ONLY reason that I was able to pull this move off without a hitch and I am so thankful for all of her help! 

So, enough about my move...Let's get down to business!  Basically, the physical act of moving made me think about its relationship to life.  In life, there are times when you need to pack up the past in preparation for changes in your present so that you can move into the future. In order to prepare for your move, you need to dust off those pieces of "furniture" and other household items to see what exactly you want to take with you into the future and what you want to leave throw away and/or donate -- Read: PEOPLE. Next, you need to sort through the "papers and other things" to figure out what's important -- Read: ISSUES and SITUATIONS.  Then, you have to coordinate with "movers" to figure out the cost of the move and if the time you have in mind is a viable option -- Read: GOD and PRAYER.  You also need to pack up everything and prepare it to go with you on this journey into the future, making sure that you've got all of the fragile and important items sorted through and you have enough boxes to hold your things -- Read: A CLEAR MIND, FOCUS, and THE STRENGTH TO MOVE FORWARD. Each of these steps are part of your "move" and are components necessary to assess your present situation in regard to your future and it's success.  All in all, these moments are precious and extrememly important so that you can truly determine what aspects of your life need some fine tuning and what items need to be removed from your life. Think about it and take the time to prepare for that "move"...Trust me, you'll thank yourself later! ;-)

- KHurly Girl

The Space Between Monogamy and Cheating

Some would say that humans aren't monogamous creatures...and I, at times, have agreed with this point. Matter of fact, I'm sure that I not only agreed but also stated it as a fact and argued it with others as the truth! LOL. But today, my views have changed a bit. I still do believe that humans have to make a conscious effort to be with one person in a monogamous relationship. But at the same time, I feel that we are programmed to want to couple with another person. But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that monogamy is more than a temporary "coupling," which is why I still think that it's a constant, conscious effort to be in a monogamous relationship and not as natural as some might believe.

Then there are some people who will argue that women are more monogamous because we carry the offspring for 9 months, so our bodies aren't meant to be with multiple men. While on the other hand, men could theoretically produce a few children each day with multiple women well into their golden years. This could very well be scientific proof to explain why we aren't built to be monogamous creatures but I'll save that as a topic for another day....LOL

This article, The Space Between Monogamy and Cheating Love & Sex GalTime, explores the reality in relationships that sometimes there isn't a clear line between monogamy and cheating. Sometimes people build strong relationships around a certain "middle ground," although the concept is often frowned upon for various reasons. Read it for yourself and you decide! Then, ask yourself -- are humans really monogamous creatures or are we just "pretending" to enjoy being with one person? What do YOU think?

- KHurly Girl

The Five Love Languages -- Which One Are You?

If you've ever felt like your mate wasn't expressing their love to you the way you needed to hear/feel it or the way that they expressed their love for you was different than your own...I may have the solution to your problem!  Take a look at the book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. It is a wonderful book, an easy read, and could prove to be an important staple in your relationship!

This book outlines the five primary emotional love languages that each person speaks.  Very often, when we speak our primary love language, we're confused when our partner does not understand what we are communicating because it comes across as foreign to them.  This book helps you to discover your primary love language as well as your partners so that you can apply certain ideas to improve your relationship.

The five love languages are: 1.) Words of Affirmation, 2.) Quality Time, 3.) Receiving Gifts, 4.) Acts of Service, and 5.) Physical Touch.  Now, I'm not going to give you too much detail on the five languages, so please take a look for yourself.  But I will tell you that after reading the book, I discovered that my primary love language was "Quality Time." It was obvious to me that this has always been key in my relationships and the thing that I complain about the most if I'm not receiving enough of it.  I also discovered that I had a secondary love language which is "Physical Touch" because affection and intimacy are very important to me during the quality time that I spend with my partner. 

I was also able to understand why certain past relationships were complicated and difficult for me.  I thought back to one recent relationship and realized that my ex's love language was "Receiving Gifts."  So, the way he'd express his love for me was by giving me things. Now, I loooove gifts (LOL) but that was not the way to my heart. I'm a "feeler" so the material things always come secondary in my book.  As a result, while in that relationship, if we argued then he'd buy me something, take me shopping, etc.  If things were good, he'd buy me things, take me shopping, trips, etc.  It was all quite lovely, don't get me wrong, but all I really wanted was to feel the love and know that he was focused on me and the health of our relationship.  The material things could not resolve the issues and they didn't make me feel any more loved.  Ultimately, that relationship ended because our viewpoints as a whole were very different but I'm convinced now that our differences as far as love languages, and our inability to understand each other in this area, played a large role in the demise of our relationship.

So, I highly recommend you pick up this book, read it online, or even skim tips from the Internet.  Either way, it's a must read and it could save your current or future relationships!  I endorse it! :-)

- KHurly Girl

Beginning A Healthy Hair Journey- What to Buy First...

Great tips for healthy hair...Take a peek! 

Curly Nikki Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: Beginning A Healthy Hair Journey- What to Buy Firs...: "by Jarmelia of DIY Hair Care Blog Beginning the journey to healthier natural hair can be an overwhelming process. Choosing the right products..."

Organic Shea Moisture: Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie Review

<= Khurly Girl endorses this product...It's a must have! You can find it in Target, Walgreen's and I believe WalMart. You've been told... :-)

Organic Shea Moisture: Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie Review

It's Been Way Too Long...

Where has the time gone??  It's been two whole months since my last post and that is way too long to have been away!  I've missed my blog!

Well, let's see....Work has been consuming...Relationships can at times encompass a lot of your free time....Giving back to the community needs it's fair share....Then there are friends, social events, extracurricular activities, family time, errands, travel, etc....Basically, LIFE sometimes gets in the way of our hobbies. I have strayed and I seriously need to do a better job of managing my time so that life doesn't get in the way of expressing myself on Let's Parlez. I love this blog and I want to make sure that I dedicate my time to it so that it grows and blossoms! 

I will make a better effort moving forward!!...I promise. <3

- KHurly Girl 

Life is For the Birds

Have you ever thought about the phrase, "life is for the birds?" Yeah, well me either...LOL.  That is until the other day when this scenario came to mind.  The phrase itself actually has a negative connotation.  It means that life is meaningless, objectionable or worthless but this of course is certainly not the case.  But I used this title anyway because the idea of birds as they relate to life is the whole point of this article, as confusing as that may sound. LOL. So anyhow, I was outdoors getting in some exercise and I looked up to watch a bird flying above me.  While watching the bird I thought about how it takes flight, all the effort that is put into flapping it's wings to propel itself forward, and then it stops flapping and stabilizes itself...At this point, the bird gives it's control over to the wind and to it's momentum -- soaring for a bit.  It's almost like they take a break to catch their breath and then continue in flight once again to put in more effort.  This cycle continues repeatedly until they reach their destination.  AND THIS MY FRIENDS IS HOW YOU SHOULD LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Life is always changing and reinventing itself as your experiences mold you.  And in life there are plenty of goals that you set for yourself along the way as you move through these experiences and life changes.  But to reach those goals you need to push hard and put all of your effort into reaching certain points along the way.  Then, after you've pushed and pushed there comes a time when you just need to take a break and let God take over.  At this point you can assess where your effort has taken you and even redirect your route, if necessary.  But you also need to allow yourself to glide a bit so that you can recognize all that you've accomplished and see the fruits of your labor.  Then once again, push forward to reach that next goal.  You continue this cycle until it's all over, and in over I mean death, because you will never run out of goals to set and achieve.  Life has plenty to offer when it comes to achievements, small and large, you just need to set your sight on the one's that you want to accomplish.

So, think about it...Are you putting in the necessary effort to reach your goals?  If not, try living your life like the birds!

Tootles,
KHurly Girl

Back to Business

So, it's been a while since my last post.  I took a vacation, both literally and figuratively. I needed the time to regroup and refocus.  I was beginning to allow myself to be weighed down by everything going on in my life...And you know EVERYTHING goes on in your life at once -- creating high stress levels and excessive pressure on yourself...But NOW, I'm back and in full effect and feeling quite lovely about it!! <= Yeeeeea, me! (I'm looking refreshed, right!?) LOL.

Not to mention, I just had a birthday and I needed the time away for reflection.  I needed to focus my thoughts on the progression of my life, my love life, and in general as far as reaching my goals for the future.  And you know what!?  Thinking about all that mess is a freakin headache sometimes! LOL. I mean, I know it's necessary to an extent but the thoughts can really get out of control if you let them.  Sometimes we just do too much planning, not enough living and enjoying, too much pressure, not enough faith, and basically just let life control us instead of grabbing life by the horns and learning how to take that bull down as we roll with each punch that is dealt!  I've always been a "go-with-the-flow" type of person but even I have to reign in my thoughts at times because it's easy to pressure yourself and force timelines into your mind that may not be feasible.

So, as I embark on this next year of my life...I choose to live more, enjoy the simple things in life more, plan less and be more spontaneous, love harder than I have in the past, reflect more, pray and meditate more, continue to live a life without regrets, give more of my time and money to those less fortunate, continue to not sweat the small stuff, not only reach my goals but exceed them, drink less (LOL), spend more time with loved ones, and continue to live a life that I'm proud of!  This is MY life and I choose to be the best me that I can be -- today and always! ;-)

KHurly Girl