Let's just jump right into things...Why do people say a person is "just a friend?" Or a buddy, or a homegirl/homeboy, or whatever....specifically, if that's not really the case?! Aren't you doing yourself a grave disservice by categorizing a person that way if they truly aren't one? Well, that is unless you're trying to cover up some dirt that you did with that person and can't tell the real story behind who they are, but that's another topic for another day...LOL.
I was recently in a situation where an associate, let's call her Jill, introduced me to a guy, let's call him Jack, whom she claimed was just a friend...#ThinkBizMarkie. LOL. I asked Jill about her relationship with Jack a few times; she insisted they were nothing but friends. I asked Jack about Jill and he also insisted that they were just friends. To make a long story short, Jack started to feel kind of friendly about me and showed a bit of interest. So, guess what happened next? Yup, you guessed it!!! As it turns out, someone was fibbing a bit! Confused yet?? I was confused too and right in the midst of a brewing situation...LOL. Can we say -- DRAMA!!?? Needless to say, the KHurly Girl does not do drama!! I avoid it at all costs because I like to put all my cards on the table and go from there. To make things a bit more interesting, this same person, Jill, met a man that I once dated and it seemed like there might have been something going on there but I shut things down QUICK -- why? Because I dated him and I don't share men I dated with friends/associates/family, etc. That's just not cool in my book. I made it very clear to the guy and to Jill that because there was some past history there, woman code policy was in full effect. LOL. For those that don't know what that is, it's "if I touched him, you don't." But I clearly had a convo with both of them and stated that if they stepped over that line then I wouldn't be interested in having a friendship anymore with either of them. Some might say this is a tad harsh but I don't care, that's how I feel. The funniest thing about this though is that Jill tried to equate that situation to the Jack situation when they are TOTALLY different. How do you compare "I dated him" versus "I never dated him and we're just friends?" AND I had a convo with the both of you about it and made things clear where I stood, yet to this day, I've never had a convo with Jill about why she's really upset about it (situation with Jack) because she has not come to me and said ANYTHING about Jack to me. Right, right...You can't!! Ok, so back to the point of this whole ordeal...LOL.
So, now I'm left with trying to understand why Jill would say Jack was "just a friend" but then got upset when Jack got friendly with me?! It just doesn't make sense...Well, it does make sense and that's because Jill LIED about her feelings for Jack! Or maybe lied is a strong word, maybe she was just confused...LOL. Either way, why am I looked at with a side eye when Jill was the one denying her feelings all along?! I shouldn't be and that's the real issue. I shouldn't be held accountable for reading Jill's mind when I clearly asked her what was up with Jack and she told me nothing!
Anyhow, I can't really say at this point that everyone involved is still cool with each other; well, me and Jack are still cool but Jill -- ummm, not so much. And this my friends is where the moral of the story lies -- honesty is ALWAYS the best policy when it comes to your feelings! Too many times people aren't in touch with their own feelings, honest with themselves, or others about how they feel. People are not mind readers. Communication IS KEY in ALL relationships, from friendships to marriages! You owe it to yourself to look in the mirror, be upfront and honest with yourself first, and then with others next because in the end there will only be hurt feelings if you don't.
Word to the wise when it comes to matters of the heart, if you even THINK you could have feelings for a person then don't categorize them as "just a friend" to another person because you never know what types of feelings could develop down the line, so why get caught in the crossfire?! Just say, I'm not sure how I feel about that person and leave it at that! End of story.
Signing out.....KHurly Girl
